It was years ago, but i remember it as if it was yesterday when my new client canceled.
Oh brother, one part of me had felt when she hired me that it was too good to be true.
They were … well … “more” than my typical client. More accomplished. More expansive. More business savvy.
“You’re in over your head,” my inner voice chattered when I sent them the coaching agreement to sign. Although I could hear that well-practiced voice inside me, it certainly wasn’t the strongest voice.
From the moment this new client enrolled out of the blue, I also knew – on a deep, gut level – “I got this.” I knew I was fully capable of meeting their needs and bringing clarity to their business conundrum.
So, I was disappointed when they canceled the morning we were going to start work. I would have enjoyed working with them, and the income would have been nice. It would have been a feather in my cap.
But their canceling turned out to have a silver lining. The experience stretched the edges of my comfort zone and gave me a new sense of what was possible for me.
My perspective shifted, and once you see something, you can’t “unsee” it. I now feel more grounded in my value.
How could I be anything but grateful for that gift of perspective?
Why, then, did I feel so unsettled inside?
That nice, tidy recognition of the silver lining wasn’t convincing me.
Although I thought everything was all good and I was quickly moving on, a week or so after the Dear John email I noticed a subtle undercurrent of sadness lurking in the corners of my mind. A whisper reminding me that I was — once again — pretending all was OK. I had gained insight, expanded my perspective, and stood firmly in my value, but I felt wobbly.
Once I noticed the feelings, I listened closely to my inner thoughts. I took the time to quiet myself and feel into the whole situation. I allowed in the entire experience:
my imagination that stretched my sense of what was possible
my disappointment at the loss of an exciting opportunity
my rush to transform the experience and claim the gift
After honoring my full reaction, I really do believe the client canceling brought unexpected benefits. Yet I know the full sense of those gifts will continue to emerge over time.